Live life urgently

Badass Boz is the QUEEN of this phrase and I have been a life student of hers since before the pandemic started. Bozoma Saint John has no time for playing small or taking life for granted. When she does anything, she goes BIG. Puts it all out there and speaks her mind, always. It’s incredible, and her way of doing life is contagious. I thought I had some fire but Boz comes to a room with flames. If you’re missing out on her, you can find and follow her on Instagram and watch THIS YouTube video to understand why she is the powerhouse that she is. She really IS a badass.

Now that you can see some of where I get my grit and resilience in life, and just general “life is for Livin’ with a capital L” from, let’s get into todays letter: Living life urgently.

“If you want to do the thing, do it right now.” - Bozoma Saint John

This statement is bold, daring and dangerous. It excites me and scares me at the same time. I’m sure by now you know a little bit about me — that I don’t play small and that I’m passionate about making the most of life in every form. And when it comes to doing things, I’m your girl. I am head chairperson of team TALK AND DO. My superpower is execution. I may not always talk the talk, but I will always walk the walk. It’s how I was raised but it’s also a life skill I have intentionally nurtured and continue to practice. When people ask me how I made the pivot from finance to tech, I don’t really have much to say but I have actions that will speak for me. The studying, the practicing, the learning and unlearning, the taking time to figure stuff out, the intentional self awareness course that is my everyday life, the people I surround myself with, the questions I ask my older friends, the networking, the shooting my shot friendships, the 9 rounds of interviews, the discipline to do things even when I don’t feel like it, the PRAYERS. My parents are proud parents because they raised me well. I’m proud of myself because I allowed myself to be raised well. I didn’t resent them or fight the systems they put in place for us to be brought up right in a world where a lot of things are wrong. And if there’s one thing my parents teach me again and again, it’s to “do the thing.” I’m privileged to be in the front row seat of parents who in their fifties are still constantly setting the bar and hitting milestone after milestone, accomplishment after accomplishment. It’s a great and inspirational gift, not so much because of what they’ve accomplished but especially what they’ve overcome to get there. Their lives are my blueprint. I’ve seen them fail at some things, fall, and get back up and better each time. What it’s like being their child, even now as an adult, is nothing short of awesome. They have their kinks as all parents do, but Mr & Dr. Mrs Smart? One of one. (Shoutout to you mom & pops, I know you’re reading this!)

Doing the thing can come with a lot of expectations and pressure and I’m grateful my parents never put me or my brothers on any sort of pedestal. They encouraged us — If you want to be XYZ in life, then go do it. If you want a first class then go for it. If you want to do fashion, do it. Want to be a rapper, we’re behind you. Want to play football, we’ll come watch. Growing up whatever crazy idea we came up with, my parents were our biggest supporters and critics. My brothers and I growing up dabbled in football, fashion, events and shows, being a rapper, an artist 👩‍🎨, hosting parties, practicing interior design through mini home makeovers and more. Every single thing, my parents said “Go for it! We’re behind you.” (As long as it didn’t mess with school hours or work of course). So this set the stage of my life with an attitude of living life urgently. And like I say often, if you don’t like something, change it. You are not a tree so you can move. You are not a robot so you can change your mind. You are not glass, so even if you break down you can put yourself together again. Even better, you can continue to reinvent yourself again and again.

The thing about doing life this way is that you have to relinquish shame and get rid of doubt. HAVE TO. You will have fear. Of course. There’s no life lived without fear but as we spoke about, you have to feel the fear and do it anyway.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” — Nelson Mandela

Just before the pandemic when I had the idea for ADAYA House, I was excited about the potential and I couldn’t wait to launch. Then the pandemic came and I had to make a decision — do I keep this idea and move forward or call it a day and save my money. As you may know, I chose the former and said bye bye to some (read: ALOT) of my savings. I did the thing. Instead of asking why should I do this right now, even in the midst of this uncertain and crazy thing going on globally — with all the dreams and ambition I had for it — I asked why not? Why not me, why not now?

Sure, there’s something to be said about timing but time can also be a deceiver especially in your twenties when you think you have all the time in the world. I didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow but I could create what I wanted to happen today. And that day, through Gods leading, I felt it was the time to push that idea forward and see where it took me. And what a journey that was over the next two years.  One I won’t have had the privilege of being a part of if I didn’t do the thing right then. If I waited for the “time to be right” or for all the market conditions to align in my favour. I won’t have done it, but I did and I’m glad I have the story to tell. (BTW, we’re in the last days of our sale so please shop the last pieces we’ve got here, and use code FAREWELL50 for 50% off everything!)

Sometimes that’s all you can do; create what you want life to look like for you today. Tomorrow will have its own worries and problems but for today? Let’s mind the business that’s right in front of us.

“So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34 AMPC

We’ve gone through a lot over the last 2+ years in this global pandemic, wars, strikes, elections and now with the aftermath of all of that brewing, honestly who could’ve predicted where we are right now? Not me!

Tomorrow isn’t promised and I leave nothing to chance so I will always live for today and plan for tomorrow. So I ask you — What’s stopping you from doing the thing? You know the thing because everyone has one. Most times we think we’re really stuck but we’re not, see this letter on constraints for more on this. We may have to make hard decisions, we may cry through said decisions, but at the end of the day, unless you are a tree, you’re never really stuck.

I didn’t like my job so I moved. I didn’t like that one either so I pivoted to a new industry. If I don’t like my hair I change it. If I don’t like my look I’ll reinvent myself. If I don’t like the way I’m being treated in a friendship I drop it. Life isn’t hard, people are. Decisions are. Situations are. Tough times DO last, and they too will pass. But for me and my household, life is good. Life is generous. It is both a declaration and a prophecy. If you believe it too, say amen.

Living life urgently isn’t a free will to be reckless or rash. It isn’t a YOLO call. It doesn’t mean rush your goals or your process. It’s not even necessarily flip your life on its head and start doing everything you ever wanted to do on your bucket list. No, far from it. (Also I’m not liable for any bad decisions you make please 🙏🏽😭 LOL ) Life is short. The point with Living life urgently is really to live a life you’re proud of. One with little to no regrets. One where you look around and you are grateful for each part of your life because you consciously chose and created it. One where you’re not looking forward to the weekend to escape your life. One where you’re the same person on and off social media. One where in your laughter and in your pain you know that hope will always remain.

Life is worth Livin’ with a capital L and I want to hear the stories of your great and audacious adventures. So to motivate you to share them with me and this community, I’d love to send out a gift of one of my favourite books on this topic — Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey. (Who I actually got the word Livin’ with a capital L from!) Comment below what your real or future audacious Livin’ life looks like and I’ll pick my favourite story and send you the book :)*

PS Share this on your Instagram story and tag me @bukiiesmart and @adayahouse for a bonus entry and a free item from the ADAYA sale!

*(PPS I know we’ve got an international community but for now the offer is only available to UK subscribers)

21/7/22 1:39am